Dear Annie: Now that it's 2014, my son will be graduating from college in just a few months, and I have to admit I'm a little worried. He's gotten good grades as a finance major with a minor in business, which I think makes him pretty marketable. He's also done a couple of internships, one with a big-name company and one with a startup, but neither has yet offered him a regular full-time job. I know the job market is still pretty weak, and although I hate to think of myself as the dreaded "helicopter parent" always hovering nearby, I still think he could use some help. My husband and I are both well-connected in our respective fields, so should we be introducing our son to people who might know of job openings, or is that a bad idea? What do you and your readers recommend? ------ Minnesota Mom Dear M.M.: It's not a bad idea at all (more about that in a minute), and wanting to help doesn't make you a helicopter parent unless your "help" starts getting in the way. "Getting a job is really your child's job. It's not your fight," notes David DeLong. "On the other hand, parents know how tough it is out there, which college students don't always realize." DeLong should know. He has a daughter who's a junior in college, but, more to the point, he's a fellow at MIT's Age Lab and the author of a new book called Graduate to a Great Job: Make Your College Degree Pay Off in Today's Market. You might find it useful, since it has a couple of chapters just for parents of new grads. It's certainly true that the class of 2014 will step into a rocky job market. Unemployment among U.S. young people ages 18 to 29 is stuck at about 16%, and underemployment in the same age group -- that is, working at a job that doesn't call for a four-year degree -- stands at roughly half. Moreover, although layoffs in December fell by about 3% year to year, to their lowest level since 2000, according to Chicago outplacement firm Challenger Gray & Christmas, finance jobs are not thick on the ground: The financial industry lost hundreds of thousands of jobs -- more than 80,000 in New York City alone -- in 2013, ironically due to an economic recovery that has drastically reduced the need for people who specialize in foreclosures and rewriting troubled loans. All of those people have had to go somewhere, and your son is competing against them, as well as against many other seasoned finance mavens. 親愛(ài)的安妮：再過(guò)幾個(gè)月，我兒子就要大學(xué)畢業(yè)了。說(shuō)實(shí)話(huà)，我現在對他有一點(diǎn)兒擔心。他在學(xué)校主修金融學(xué)，輔修商科，成績(jì)優(yōu)異，我覺(jué)得他在求職市場(chǎng)上會(huì )很有競爭力。他曾做過(guò)幾份實(shí)習，既有著(zhù)名的大公司，也有初創(chuàng )公司，但到現在還沒(méi)有一家公司給他一份全職工作。 我知道，現在工作很不好找，雖然我不想變成可怕的“直升機父母”，整天形影不離、喋喋不休地問(wèn)長(cháng)問(wèn)短。但我覺(jué)得，他也許需要我的幫助。我和孩子爸爸在各自的工作領(lǐng)域內人脈很廣，我們是否應該托熟人介紹些工作機會(huì )給兒子？這是不是個(gè)好辦法？你和你的讀者有什么建議嗎？——一位來(lái)自明尼蘇達州的母親。 親愛(ài)的明尼蘇達州母親：你的想法一點(diǎn)兒都沒(méi)錯（我們稍后就會(huì )談原因），而且除非你的“幫忙”阻礙了他的成長(cháng)，否則，你就不是“直升機父母”�！罢夜ぷ鞅緛�(lái)就是孩子們的事，你不應插手，”戴維•德朗說(shuō)�！傲硪环矫�，父母們十分清楚求職之路上的競爭有多激烈，而象牙塔中的學(xué)生們卻知之甚少�！钡吕屎苡邪l(fā)言權，他的女兒正在讀大學(xué)三年級，但是他確切的身份是麻省理工學(xué)院年代實(shí)驗室（Age Lab）的職員，也是《畢業(yè)不失業(yè)：怎樣在求職大軍中脫穎而出》（Graduate to a Great Job: Make Your College Degree Pay Off in Today's Market）一書(shū)的作者。這本書(shū)中有幾個(gè)章節正是專(zhuān)為應屆畢業(yè)生的父母所寫(xiě)，對你來(lái)說(shuō)或許會(huì )有幫助。 的確，2014年畢業(yè)的應屆生馬上就要加入浩浩蕩蕩的求職者大軍了。在美國，18至29歲之間年輕人的失業(yè)率高達16%，而在無(wú)需本科文憑的工作中，同樣年齡段年輕人的失業(yè)率接近50%。 根據芝加哥職業(yè)介紹機構Challenger, Gray & Christmas的報告顯示，雖然2013年12月的企業(yè)裁員人數同比下降了3%，創(chuàng )下了自2000年以來(lái)的新低，但金融類(lèi)的工作機會(huì )卻并不是那么好找。整個(gè)2013年，金融行業(yè)減少了成千上萬(wàn)個(gè)職位，僅紐約市就減少了8萬(wàn)個(gè)崗位。諷刺的是，由于經(jīng)濟復蘇，市場(chǎng)對擅長(cháng)于止贖或沖銷(xiāo)不良貸款專(zhuān)業(yè)人士的需求大幅下降，而他們總歸是要找一份工作。你兒子除了要與這些人競爭之外，也還會(huì )面對許多經(jīng)驗豐富的金融從業(yè)人員。 Still, jobs do exist, of course: In researching his book, DeLong interviewed 35 recent college grads from 20 different schools (all "good" but none Ivy League), who have succeeded at finding interesting full-time work, sometimes with a boost from their mom and dads' connections. "Every parent-child relationship is different, naturally," DeLong says. "Some kids want nothing to do with any kind of help from their folks. Others are counting on it." The first thing many parents have to do, he adds, is come to terms with whatever ambivalence they may harbor about their offspring's leaving home for good. "In all the interviews I did, the parents had mixed feelings. Some of them really wanted the kid to come home for the summer, or even for much longer," he observes. Assuming you've conquered that, here are four steps you can take to help: 1. If possible, set up informational interviews. DeLong likes your idea of introducing your son to some of the people you (and your husband) know professionally. "Informational interviews, where someone meets with a seasoned person in a given field to find out what the various career paths are and how to get from A to B, are a great tool for any job hunter, but especially for new grads," he says. "Parents can be a gold mine of introductions to colleagues, clients, or other people with real-world insights that kids can really use." 2. Encourage your child to develop a focus. Those informational interviews should help with this, as should reading some company websites and studying up on current trends in a given industry. "Employers tell me that most entry-level applicants have only a vague idea, if that, of what they want to do or what skills they bring," DeLong says. New grads often overlook, for instance, the link between team leadership honed in college sports or other activities and employers who are looking for those skills. You can help by pointing out the abilities and experience your son has to offer that companies want -- and that he may be overlooking. 3. Lend a hand with preparing for interviews. "New grads almost always need help with how to act and what to say in a job interview, either from you or from the campus career center or some other experienced source," DeLong says, adding that "interviews are more complicated now than they used to be, with many employers now depending on phone screens and Skype meetings, both of which call for different approaches." At the same time, he says, "make sure your child is ready mentally for the sheer number of interviews he or she will probably have to do before getting hired." 4. Steer him or her clear of the "passion hoax." DeLong considers this so important that he devoted a whole chapter of his book to it. "The larger society, or sometimes even parents themselves, too often encourage kids to 'do what you love' or 'find your bliss,'" he says. "But what if your bliss is the current equivalent of the buggy-whip business?" 不過(guò)，工作機會(huì )總是有的。德朗曾做過(guò)一項調查，他訪(fǎng)問(wèn)了從20所不同學(xué)校（都是不錯的學(xué)校但并非常春藤名校）畢業(yè)的35位應屆畢業(yè)生，他們都成功地找到了不錯的全職工作，有些人的確也借助了父母的人脈關(guān)系�！案改概c孩子的關(guān)系天然地都各不相同，”德朗說(shuō)�！坝行┖⒆痈静粫�(huì )從父母哪兒得到任何幫助，而有些孩子卻完全依賴(lài)父母�！� 他接著(zhù)說(shuō)，許多父母首先要做的就是，克服舍不得孩子離開(kāi)家的矛盾心理。在我所做的全部訪(fǎng)問(wèn)中，父母對孩子離家都有一種復雜的情緒。有些父母的確想讓孩子回家過(guò)暑假，甚至希望他們能待得更久，”他說(shuō)道。假設你已經(jīng)克服這種矛盾心理，以下四個(gè)步驟將會(huì )對你有所幫助： 1. 如果可能的話(huà)，幫他們聯(lián)系信息性面試。德郎會(huì )比較認同你把兒子介紹給你（或丈夫）所認識的職場(chǎng)人士的想法�！靶畔⑿悦嬖嚲褪亲屗麄兣c某個(gè)特定領(lǐng)域中的經(jīng)驗豐富人士交流，以確定不同的職業(yè)發(fā)展路徑，以及了解如何取得職業(yè)晉升。這對于求職者來(lái)說(shuō)是個(gè)十分有用的工具，特別是應屆畢業(yè)生，”他說(shuō)�！案改溉绻馨淹�、客戶(hù)等職業(yè)人士介紹給孩子，分享對他們有益的社會(huì )經(jīng)驗，那么對孩子來(lái)說(shuō)，父母就無(wú)異于一個(gè)金礦�！� 2. 鼓勵孩子逐漸明確想法。給孩子們提供信息化面試的好處很多，因為他們需要閱讀公司的網(wǎng)頁(yè)，了解某一行業(yè)的發(fā)展趨勢�！肮椭鱾兏嬖V我，初級申請者僅對未來(lái)所從事的工作或是所需要的技能只有很模糊的概念，”德郎說(shuō)。比如，應屆畢業(yè)生常常忽視在大學(xué)比賽或活動(dòng)中所鍛煉出來(lái)的團隊領(lǐng)導力與需要這些技能的雇主之間的聯(lián)系。你可以幫助他了解他所具備的哪些能力和經(jīng)驗是招聘公司所需要的，而他說(shuō)不定忽略了這一點(diǎn)。 3. 幫助他們準備面試�！懊嬖嚂r(shí)如何應對或應答？每個(gè)應屆畢業(yè)生都需要得到這方面的指導和幫助，無(wú)論這種指導是來(lái)自你或是學(xué)校職業(yè)介紹中心還是其他經(jīng)驗人士，”德郎說(shuō)�！叭缃衩嬖嚨碾y度與以前相比早已不可同日而語(yǔ)，現在許多雇主們都依賴(lài)于電話(huà)面試或網(wǎng)絡(luò )視頻面試，這些都需要不同的應對技巧�！倍瑫r(shí)，他說(shuō)：“還要確保他們從思想上做好準備：在找到工作之前需要經(jīng)歷海量的面試�！� 4. 引導他們不要 “被興趣所蒙蔽”。德朗非常重視這一點(diǎn)，他的書(shū)中有一整個(gè)章節都是在探討這個(gè)問(wèn)題�！罢麄�(gè)社會(huì )，有時(shí)是甚至是父母都會(huì )鼓勵孩子們‘做自己喜歡的事’或是‘找到自己的興趣所在’，但如果你的興趣早已跟不上時(shí)代怎么辦？” By his lights, a valuable (and difficult) part of parents' role is being supportive while still acting as a reality check. "Encourage new grads to learn about what industries are growing now and which ones aren't, and where the opportunities are likely to be in the future," he says.You might also mention that "the point right now is to start somewhere, without worrying too much about whether it's the ideal job," DeLong adds. "Especially at the outset of a career, even a job you don't like will teach you a lot." What if your child is going into, say, drama, film, or some other field where lots of other talented people are parking cars or waiting tables? "Of course, a few of those people do get their big break," he notes. "But parents need to make sure kids understand the likely consequences of any choice they make now." Good luck. Talkback: If you've helped a son or daughter find a job in this tough economy, what helped the most (or least)? Leave a comment below. 在他看來(lái)，在應屆生子女求職過(guò)程中，父母所能發(fā)揮的最有價(jià)值（同時(shí)也是困難）的作用就是既要做到“輔助”，同時(shí)也要幫助他們認清現實(shí)�！凹议L(cháng)們應該鼓勵應屆畢業(yè)生子女去了解哪些行業(yè)在蓬勃發(fā)展，哪些行業(yè)已日薄西山，同時(shí)還要判斷未來(lái)的趨勢和機會(huì )，”他說(shuō)。你最好還要告訴他們“當下最重要的便是著(zhù)手開(kāi)始做一份工作，不要過(guò)于在意這份工作是否是自己的‘理想職業(yè)’，”德朗補充說(shuō)�！霸诼殬I(yè)生涯的初期，哪怕是一份你并不喜歡的工作也能讓你獲益匪淺�！� 如果你的孩子在戲劇、電影這些行業(yè)，或者說(shuō)是那些拿著(zhù)大學(xué)文憑卻只能做泊車(chē)或服務(wù)員的行業(yè)，你該怎么辦？“這些行業(yè)中當然也有出類(lèi)拔萃的人，”他說(shuō)�！暗頌楦改�，你也必須確保自己的孩子了解，他們現在所做的選擇會(huì )對自己的未來(lái)產(chǎn)生怎樣的影響�！� 祝你好運。 如果你曾經(jīng)幫助自己的子女在如今慘淡的經(jīng)濟環(huán)境下找到工作，你覺(jué)得你在哪方面對他們幫助最大（或最�。�？歡迎在下面留言。（財富中文網(wǎng)） 譯者：唐昕昕 |
金球獎頒獎典禮教給我們的溝通技巧
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